So I thought I'd let you in on the language I am known to speak in order to prevent as many awkward moments as possible or conceal the truth.
Commonly Used Phrases.
In my world, 'I checked with the rents and I can come,' really means: 'After negotiating for minutes on end I have finally proven my point - to an extent - and am able to leave the house for a few hours . I'll probably turn up home at least an hour after I said I would, but oh well.'
'I'm still checking with the rents,' on the other hand, means 'Negotiations are still taking place, and may or may not prove successful depending on two factors: what mood said parents are in and how convincing my argument is.'
The phrase 'Sorry, I can't make it,' has several meanings associated with it.
It can mean any of the following:
- 'Sorry, I can't make it.'
- 'Sorry, I can't be fucked getting out of bed today.'
- 'Sorry, I am too tired to negotiate with the people who brought me into this world.'
- 'Sorry, but I just don't like you.'
- 'Sorry, but my negotiations failed.
- 'Sorry, but I'm not sorry. Stay the hell away from me.'
- 'Sorry, I'm dead.'
'ILY too' or 'Love you too,' means 'I haven't actually taken the time to consider what you really mean to me, but I'll say this anyway because otherwise that's just awkward...'
'I'm on my way,' translates to 'I'll leave the house in a couple of minutes.'
And the following few deserve their own category.
Things I tell my parents:
'Yes Mum, I'm on the bus,' means 'I'm going to the bus stop now. Within the next hour.'
'The bus broke down or had some problems or something,' along with,'The next bus isn't for another half an hour,' means 'I missed the bus I was meant to take to get home on time. Oops.'
'No Mum, there's no boys here,' means...there are, obviously. Thankfully she's begun to be used to the idea of me hanging out with those of the opposite gender in a purely friends way, although she is still as suspicious and prejudicial as always.
'Can I have some money for lunch while I'm out?' means 'I'm going to buy me some phone credit.'
I hope this has benefited you in some way, and please take into account that none of the above is necessarily completely true, but there is a chance...
