Help.

For the first time in my life I am completely and utterly confused.

Sometimes I find myself crying and I don't even know why.

At times in the past I have felt lost but have always been able to find the path back home. 
Now, I don’t even know where I call home. 
I am back and forth from destination to destination, a nomad. 
I don’t feel like I truly belong anywhere, or with anyone. 
I am unclear of who I am and who I want to be, who I truly care about or

who I just want to keep around for comfort. 
I have never been so baffled. 
It keeps me up at night and wakes me early in the morning. 
My mind feels as if it is in a race with no finish line. 
All I want are answers but none are to be found. 
I don’t know what I want or what is right for me, things seem to be crumbling at a pace that I cant keep up with. 
I need to press pause on the remote that is playing my life. 
Everything seems to be moving at a fast-forwarded pace and my mind is tired of running.
I need peace. 
I don’t know where to find it. 
It isn’t here and it is no longer at “home.” 
I need a rewind button because the past needs to be reworked, it fucked up my present. 
I don’t know where to go from here but I do know that I need rest.  
I miss everything that used to make me feel safe,
I want it back.