another year over.

so, 2010 is coming to an end...
i feel like i should come up with something you know, inspiring to say.
but i won't. because i'm that lazy.
i hope nobody gets way too smashed and makes out with an ugly person at 12:00 on the first day of 2011, that is my wish for...everyone who's doing something fun tonight...
me? i'm spending the rift between the two decades with a bunch of people mostly related to me. so...don't expect anything. that would be a little bit of a worry, no?

yeah. i'll stop now.

see you in the new year!

why do my hiccups sound like a retarded donkey inhaling backwards?

vocab lesson.

So I thought I'd let you in on the language I am known to speak in order to prevent as many awkward moments as possible or conceal the truth.

Commonly Used Phrases.

In my world, 'I checked with the rents and I can come,' really means: 'After negotiating for minutes on end I have finally proven my point - to an extent - and am able to leave the house for a few hours . I'll probably turn up home at least an hour after I said I would, but oh well.'

'I'm still checking with the rents,' on the other hand, means 'Negotiations are still taking place, and may or may not prove successful depending on two factors: what mood said parents are in and how convincing my argument is.'

The phrase 'Sorry, I can't make it,' has several meanings associated with it.
It can mean any of the following:
- 'Sorry, I can't make it.' 
- 'Sorry, I can't be fucked getting out of bed today.'
- 'Sorry, I am too tired to negotiate with the people who brought me into this world.'
- 'Sorry, but I just don't like you.'
- 'Sorry, but my negotiations failed.
- 'Sorry, but I'm not sorry. Stay the hell away from me.'
- 'Sorry, I'm dead.'

'ILY too' or 'Love you too,' means 'I haven't actually taken the time to consider what you really mean to me, but I'll say this anyway because otherwise that's just awkward...'

'I'm on my way,' translates to 'I'll leave the house in a couple of minutes.'

And the following few deserve their own category.

Things I tell my parents:
'Yes Mum, I'm on the bus,' means 'I'm going to the bus stop now. Within the next hour.'
'The bus broke down or had some problems or something,' along with,'The next bus isn't for another half an hour,' means 'I missed the bus I was meant to take to get home on time. Oops.'
'No Mum, there's no boys here,' means...there are, obviously. Thankfully she's begun to be used to the idea of me hanging out with those of the opposite gender in a purely friends way, although she is still as suspicious and prejudicial as always.
'Can I have some money for lunch while I'm out?' means 'I'm going to buy me some phone credit.'

I hope this has benefited you in some way, and please take into account that none of the above is necessarily completely true, but there is a chance...

don't you love the life you killed?

There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not.

without proof one cannot be certain.

“Mr Kelly we suspect you stole this sheep and now require you to provide a hair sample under state law of 1878,” says an officer.

“I apologise officer, but I have waxed all my body hair,” Bushranger Kelly smugly replies.

another one of those irritating facebook pages.

If you have no makeup on, your hair is a mess, you're still in your PJs & he still can't resist putting you into his arms. Well then he's a keeper.

or maybe he's just blind? didn't think of that, did you!

dear world, my sister is a first-rate twat.

what would i do without her?

mm...phlegm.

how the hell can one have a cold when the weather is this hot?

i'm going to cover the walls of my mind with stickynotes.

oh naive little me, asking what things you have seen, and you're vulnerable in your head, you'll scream and you'll wail till you're dead. creatures veiled by night, following things that aren't right, and they're tired and they need to be lead, you'll scream and you'll wail till you're dead. but give me to a rambling man, let it always be known that i was who i am. beaten, battered, and cold, my children will live just to grow old. but if i sit here and weep, i'll be blown over by the slightest of breeze. and the weak need to be lead, and the tender i'll carry to their bed, and its a pale and cold affair, i'll be damned if i'll be found there. but give me to a rambling man, let it always be known that i was who i am. its funny how the first chords that you come to are the minor notes that come to serenade you. it's hard to accept yourself as someone you don't desire, as someone you don't want to be. oh give me to a rambling man, let it always be known that i was who i am. oh give me to a rambling man, let it always be known that i was who i am.

if only

Just because I'm presumin' that I could be kind-a-human,
If I only had heart.
Just to register emotion, jealousy - devotion,
And really feel the part.


lalalalalalalalalalaaaa christmas is rather amazing at giving one the best presents ever, this is by far the best holiday i've had in a while *grins ecstatically*


no but seriously. things are on the turn for the better :)

something that annoys me

you know you are a normal teen if:
1)you have a facebook
2)you own a cellphone
4)you are wasting your time reading this
5)you didn't realize there was no #3
7)you checked to see if there wasn't a #3
8)O: where's 6?
9)you are smiling now

see, the problem with all these stupid facebook pages, is that they are made by mildly intelligent morons who think they are too damn fucking hilarious. please, leave me in peace, because i don't need to see any more of these.

also. the grimace on my face, and the way i pulled my hair in anguish, was not a smile. thanks.